1. Cook the Pasta: Achieving Al Dente Perfection

1. Boil Water: Bring a large pot of salted water to a rolling boil.
2. Add Pasta: Add the penne pasta to the boiling water.
3. Cook According to Package: Cook the pasta according to the package directions, until it’s al dente – cooked through but still firm to the bite.
4. Drain and Rinse: Drain the cooked pasta in a colander and rinse it with cold water to stop the cooking process.
5. Set Aside: Set the drained pasta aside while you prepare the other components.

2. Cook the Bacon: Crispy, Smoky Flavor

1. Chop Bacon: Chop the bacon slices into small pieces.
2. Cook in Large Pot: In a large pot or Dutch oven, cook the chopped bacon over medium-high heat until it’s crispy.
3. Remove Bacon: Use a slotted spoon to remove the cooked bacon from the pot and transfer it to a plate lined with paper towels to drain excess grease. Set the bacon aside.

3. Cook the Chicken: Searing for Tenderness

1. Drain Grease (mostly): Leave about 1 tablespoon of bacon grease in the pot. If there’s not enough, you can add a little olive oil.
2. Cut Chicken: Cut the chicken breasts into 1-inch cubes.
3. Season Chicken: Season the cubed chicken generously with salt and pepper.
4. Sauté Chicken: Add the seasoned chicken to the pot and sauté over medium-high heat until it’s browned on all sides and cooked through, about 5-7 minutes.

4. Sauté Onions and Garlic: Building the Aromatic Base

1. Add Onions: Add the minced onions to the pot with the chicken and cook until softened and translucent, about 3-5 minutes.
2. Add Garlic: Add the minced garlic and cook for another minute, until fragrant.

5. Create the Creamy Sauce: A Rich and Flavorful Blend

1. Add Broth, Sour Cream, Cream Cheese: Pour the chicken broth into the pot. Add the sour cream and softened cream cheese.
2. Stir and Simmer: Stir well until the cream cheese is melted and the sauce is smooth.
3. Add Seasonings: Add the ranch dressing mix, 1 teaspoon salt, 1 teaspoon black pepper, and 2 teaspoons of dried parsley. Stir well to combine.
4. Simmer: Bring the mixture to a gentle boil, then reduce the heat to low and simmer for about 5 minutes, allowing the sauce to thicken slightly.

6. Combine and Finish: Bringing it All Together

1. Add Bacon: Stir in the cooked bacon to the sauce.
2. Add Pasta: Add the cooked and drained penne pasta to the pot with the sauce.
3. Toss to Coat: Gently toss the pasta with the sauce until it’s evenly coated.
4. Add Cheese: Stir in the shredded cheddar cheese until it’s melted and the sauce is smooth and cheesy.
5. Simmer: Let the mixture simmer for about 5 minutes, allowing the flavors to meld.

7. Serve and Garnish: The Final Touches

1. Remove from Heat: Remove the pot from the heat.
2. Garnish: Garnish the Crack Chicken Penne with chopped green onions before serving.
3. Serve Hot: Serve immediately and enjoy!